“We need to stop shoulding all over ourselves!”

Back in college I used a life coach to help me get over some of my anxiety issues.  This was a sentence that she used over and over and over again and I never forget this sentiment as it can relate to all parts of our life. 

As coaches, we see so many people “Shoulding” all over themselves. 

-       Should I use X product?

-       Should I eat ____?

-       Should I be on [enter new fad diet here] diet?

-       Should I have that goal?

-       Should I be farther along in my progress? 

Most of the time our answers with start with “it depends” and a follow up of questions that start with why.  Why does that interest you?  Why do you feel that way?  Why do you see yourself working on this? 

We ask these questions because every person has different goals, anatomy, biology, medical history, lifestyles, jobs, schedules, families, cultures, sleeping habits, tendencies, hobbies, and stressors.  This means that no two people that walk through the door will receive the same exact kind of coaching.   There are rarely blanket statements that will work for everyone and that’s why it’s always important to figure out the why. 

Are you forcing yourself to do something because:

-       You feel unwanted and uncomfortable pressure from other around you

-       You see others participating so you think you should too

-       You feel like it’s the normal or typical thing to do

 If any of these are part of your why, or if you are unsure of your why, you may want to rethink what you are shoulding to yourself.